Years ago, I remember when I was searching for clarity in my life. I was surrounded by people who I allowed to tell me who I should be and what I should do. I pined for something different, but was unsure of how to do it. Essentially I was letting others determine my identity. Certain characteristics I had been told as a young person had stuck and I myself was self fulfilling this pre-conceived identity.
One day I distinctly remember was when I walked into Anthropologie and was overtaken by all the stimuli. Refreshing scents, warm wood floors, relaxing music, tactical fabrics, and eye catching displays welcomed me like a hug. I felt like I was transported to another place outside of my confusion. As I gazed up to the center display with mannequins wearing beautiful garments, I locked onto one look that featured a large statement necklace. My mind wandered as I created a story of who this woman was. This woman that carried off this bold outfit with ease and confidence. This woman that knew where she was headed and open to new possibilities. It was a woman I desired to be. I am not speaking specifically about the outfit, but more the attitude that the garments evoked.
Making the decision to no longer waller in my unhappiness and confusion was a challenging change. I was tired of making excuses for not being able to be the woman I wanted to be. I was ready to change my identity.
As I slowly began to change the way I approached situations and re-evaluated relationships, I also began to make a conscience decision to step away from my “safe clothes” that in a way were keeping me in my old identity. Those old habits were represented in the fashion rut I had gotten myself into. That “woman” I had envisioned at the store was someone I knew and she was no longer out of reach. She was attainable, I just had to step into that role.
The clothes themselves were a catalyst to propel me into someone I knew was always hidden inside. They were not the only factor, but they were tangible and physical evidence I was creating my own new identity, one I always felt deep inside of me. They were not a costume I put on, they were acting as a story teller to the rest of the world to show who I was.
Now, as a wardrobe stylist, I often have conversations with clients who have a vision of what they want to look like and what they want to project with their image. In other words, their personal identity. When I select items in line with this vision, I sometimes get resistance because they feel they “can’t pull it off”. They have the desire to step into their vision, their identity, but insecurities are holding them back. Part of my job is to encourage change and to help my clients identity come out, even if they are unsure. There is a distinct difference between having that initial reaction to say “I could never wear that” and “that is just not the style direction I want to go in”.
We often tell ourselves that what we are is what we have to be. It is that inner narrative that actually keeps us in that space. Our identity is what we create it to be and it is our choice to let our light shine. I admit, it can be scary to change. To me, what scared me the more was never being my true authentic self.
If you would like to explore more into what you would like your clothing says about your identity, I would love to be a part of that. I offer online shopping services where I curate specific looks for you, assistance with what to wear with items you already have in your closet, personal shopping, and in home consultation for ladies here in Orange County. View my online styling services or send me an email to set up an appointment at designingfrommycloset [at] gmail .com. I look forward to being a part of your wardrobe identity journey.
See how I created this look with my maxi dress in my “Closet Change Up” video on my YouTube channel:
Today’s Postivity Note
Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?
Check out my style services if you want a little extra help to get ready for a special event or just for the season.